10 Tips for Raising Children of Character

February 28th, 2008

by Dr. Kevin Ryan
 
It is one of those essential facts of life that raising good children–children of character–demands time and attention. While having children may be “doing what comes naturally,” being a good parent is much more complicated. Here are ten tips to help your children build sturdy characters:
1. Put parenting first. This is hard to do in a world with so many competing demands. Good parents consciously plan and devote time to parenting. They make developing their children’s character their top priority.
 
2. Review how you spend the hours and days of your week. Think about the amount of time your children spend with you. Plan how you can weave your children into your social life and knit yourself into their lives.
 
3. Be a good example. Face it: human beings learn primarily through modeling. In fact, you can’t avoid being an example to your children, whether good or bad. Being a good example, then, is probably your most important job.
4. Develop an ear and an eye for what your children are absorbing. Children are like sponges. Much of what they take in has to do with moral values and character. Books, songs, TV, the Internet, and films are continually delivering messages—moral and immoral—to our children. As parents we must control the flow of ideas and images that are influencing our children.
5. Use the language of character. Children cannot develop a moral compass unless people around them use the clear, sharp language of right and wrong.
6. Punish with a loving heart. Today, punishment has a bad reputation. The results are guilt-ridden parents and self-indulgent, out-of-control children. Children need limits. They will ignore these limits on occasion. Reasonable punishment is one of the ways human beings have always learned. Children must understand what punishment is for and know that its source is parental love.
7. Learn to listen to your children. It is easy for us to tune out the talk of our children. One of the greatest things we can do for them is to take them seriously and set aside time to listen.
8. Get deeply involved in your child’s school life. School is the main event in the lives of our children. Their experience there is a mixed bag of triumphs and disappointments. How they deal with them will influence the course of their lives. Helping our children become good students is another name for helping them acquire strong character.
9. Make a big deal out of the family meal. One of the most dangerous trends in America is the dying of the family meal. The dinner table is not only a place of sustenance and family business but also a place for the teaching and passing on of our values. Manners and rules are subtly absorbed over the table. Family mealtime should communicate and sustain ideals that children will draw on throughout their lives.
10. Do not reduce character education to words alone. We gain virtue through practice. Parents should help children by promoting moral action through self-discipline, good work habits, kind and considerate behavior to others, and community service. The bottom line in character development is behavior–their behavior.
As parents, we want our children to be the architects of their own character crafting, while we accept the responsibility to be architects of the environment—physical and moral. We need to create an environment in which our children can develop habits of honesty, generosity, and a sense of justice. For most of us, the greatest opportunity we personally have to deepen our own character is through the daily blood, sweat and tears of struggling to be good parents.

How Pictures Promote Achieving Kids ?

June 5th, 2007

Goal-Setting for Kids ~ How Positive Pictures Promote Achieving Kids

By: Jean Tracy, MSS

Children Move toward Their Pictures:

The pictures in your child’s mind determine whether she’ll reach for the stars or give up without trying. How can you motivate your child to achieve success? How can you teach her to stamp out negative pictures? Below is a method that’s easy, fun, and bonding.

5 Parenting Tips for Boosting Goal-Setting Pictures:

Spend private time each week with your child.

Tell her a story about a kid who’s afraid to try new things.

Ask questions that help your child express her opinions.

Listen more than speak.

Pay attention to the pictures in her head.

Boost Your Parenting Skills by Creating Stories Like This One:

Pretend you know a girl named Angela. She’s supposed to give a book report in front of her class. On the day of her book report, Angela tells her mom she’s sick. Her mom knows it isn’t true and sends her to school. Right before giving the book report, Angela hurries to the nurse’s office where she rests until recess. She misses giving her book report and recovers in time to play.

If the above story sounds too much like your child, create a different story. You don’t want her angry because you tricked her.

3 Character Building Questions for Changing Negative Thoughts into Positive Goals:

What negative pictures do you think Angela imagined when she thought about giving the book report in front of her class?

What positive pictures does Angela need to imagine in order to successfully give the book report?

What advice would you give Angela for reaching her positive goal of giving her book report?

Take time to discuss each question. Listen and encourage. Appreciate your child’s positive pictures.

Bravo! You’ve helped your child see how negative pictures hold kids back. You’ve helped her realize that positive pictures help kids achieve. Don’t be surprised if your child loves your story time together. Use such stories weekly. Watch her move toward goals with a winning attitude. She’ll be building character too.

 

Jean Tracy, MSS, publishes a Free Parenting Newsletter at http:www.KidsDiscuss.com . Subscribe and receive 80 FREE activities to share with your kids.

If you liked the above parenting tips pick up Free Parenting Tips - 21 of the Best at http:www.KidsDiscuss.com . You’ll find them at the top of the page.

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Children’s attention problems tied to TV ?

May 18th, 2007

Children’s attention problems tied to TV
By LINDSEY TANNER

CHICAGO - Very young children who watch television face an increased risk of attention deficit problems by school age, a study has found, suggesting that TV might overstimulate and permanently “rewire” the developing brain.

For every hour of television watched daily, two groups of children - aged 1 and 3 - faced a 10% increased risk of having attention problems at age 7.

The findings bolster previous research showing that television can shorten attention spans and support American Academy of Pediatrics recommendations that youngsters under age 2 not watch television.

“The truth is there are lots of reasons for children not to watch television. Other studies have shown it to be associated with obesity and aggressiveness too”, said lead author Dr. Dimitri Christakis, a researcher at Children’s Hospital and Regional Medical Center in Seattle.

The study, involved 1,345 children who participated in government-sponsored national health surveys.

Their parents were questioned about the children’s TV viewing habits and rated their behavior at age 7 on a scale similar to measures used in diagnosing attention deficit disorders.

The researchers lacked data on whether the youngsters were diagnosed with attention deficit disorders but the number of children whose parents rated them as having attention problems – 10% - is similar to the prevalence in the general population, Christakis said.

Problems included difficulty concentrating, acting restless and impulsive, and being easily confused.

About 36% of the 1-year-olds watched no TV, while 37% watched one to two hours daily and had a 10% to 20% increased risk of attention problems. 14% watched three to four hours daily and had a 30% to 40% increased risk compared with children who watched no TV. The remainder watched at least five hours daily.

Among 3-year-olds, only 7% watched no TV, 44% watched one to two hours daily, 27% watched three to four hours daily, almost 11% watched five to six hours daily, and about 10% watched seven or more hours daily.

In a Pediatrics editorial, educational psychologist Jane Healy said the study “is important and long overdue” but needs to be followed up to confirm and better explain the mechanisms that may be involved.

The researchers didn’t know what shows the children watched, but Christakis said content likely isn’t the culprit. Instead, he said, unrealistically fast-paced visual images typical of most TV programming may alter normal brain development.

“The newborn brain develops very rapidly during the first two to three years of life. It’s really being wired” during that time, Christakis said.

“We know from studies of newborn rats that if you expose them to different levels of visual stimuli … the architecture of the brain looks very different” depending on the amount of stimulation, he said.

Overstimulation during this critical period “can create habits of the mind that are ultimately deleterious,” Christakis said. If this theory holds true, the brain changes likely are permanent, but children with attention problems can be taught to compensate, he said.

The researchers considered factors other than TV that might have made some children prone to attention problems, including their home environment and mothers’ mental states.

The American Academy of Pediatrics said in 1999 that children under the age of 2 should not watch television because of concerns it affects early brain growth and the development of social, emotional and cognitive skills.

Jennifer Kotler, assistant director for research at Sesame Workshop, which produces educational children’s television programs including “Sesame Street,” questioned whether the results would apply to educational programming.

“We do not ignore this research, but more is needed on variables that could affect the impact of early exposure to television, including whether content or watching TV with a parent makes a difference”, Kotler said.

“There’s a lot of research … that supports the positive benefits of educational programming,” she said.

Teaching your children to pick up their toys

May 2nd, 2007

When children are taught from an early age to pick up their toys after playing, the process becomes routine. Not requiring immediate cleanup when kids are little leads to difficulty later on. Solutions can be achieved, however, at any age. The goal of this article is to both offer advice on how to make very young kids learn to pick up after themselves so the process becomes second nature and how to teach older children the same responsibility even if they have not been required to do so in the past.Discipline, discipline, disciple. Nothing could be more important when trying to teach kids responsibility for any task or chore. The more strict you are and the earlier you begin with your kids, the greater success you will have in getting them to follow rules as toddlers all the way through their teenage years. Children must have boundaries and they must know that there are consequences for not staying within these parameters. Realizing that you will have to be the bad guy more times than not when your children are young will help you say no and enforce rules much easier. Read the rest of this entry »

How to Select the Best Preschool for Your Child ?

April 21st, 2007


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School: Academic or Behavior Problems?

April 8th, 2007

Some students breeze through school. They find classes interesting, challenging and stimulating. They like to read independently and are often found scouring the shelves of libraries for new and exciting things to learn. They come home from school each day and sit down to do their homework without being asked. If they come across a word they don’t understand, they find a dictionary and look up the word. If your child is one of these students, count your lucky stars because you are very lucky indeed! For a lot of parents, helping their children succeed in school can be a challenge. Many parents report that their child does one or more of the following:

  • Has difficulty getting homework done without being asked several times
  • Loses assignments between home and school
  • Postpones schoolwork until the last minute
  • Prefers to skip rather than attend classes
  • Has behavior and social problems in school
  • Read the rest of this entry »

School Work - How Parent can help children ?

April 7th, 2007

For detailed advice on helping your child to get organised, stay motivated and keep calm, take a look at the article What can I do to help my child with revision?

Here’s a summary:

Do

  • Ask your child what areas/subjects he wants help with.
  • Make your child feel you’re there for him physically and emotionally.
  • Organise some ‘non-study’ activities for him.
  • Encourage your child with praise and rewards.
  • Make your child’s environment revision-friendly.

    Don’t

    • Force your child to revise in a way you think best.
    • Put any extra pressure on him.
    • Keep telling your child how much better organised you were about revision when you were that age